Going Nowhere Fast
by Kitsunefan203
Summary: When left in the middle of nowhere, where else can you go? Especially in company with someone like Ellis. Nick wants nothing more then to just leave Ellis where he sits, but then again. That wouldn't be fair. See how Nick handles Ellis when he believes they're in the middle of nowhere. Attempt lulz ahead with L4D 2. Rated T for mild language


Disclaimer: I hold no copyright ownership to any of the Characters mentioned or use in this work of fan fiction or fan inspired ludicrous writings. All characters are copyrighted to the gaming corporation Turtle Rock Studios and Valve. I just own the creative attempt at a laugh with Nick and Ellis.

AN: Gasp! A Non-Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts related fan fiction from me?! Is it possible?! Yes. Yes it is. I've had this one sitting on my Hard Drive for a while because this is one of those tales I randomly write now and again when I find a Cosplay photo or art work piece that strikes me to write something based on the picture/artwork. This one comes from the Cosplayers KellyJane and TealPirate on DeviantART's Cosplay photo of Nick and Ellis from Left4Dead 2. I'll include the link as well so you guys can see the photo that inspired this. With that said, enjoy my attempt at a little laugh using Nick and Ellis.

Photo inspiration: tealpirate dot deviantart dot com / gallery / 38040213 # / d4bb13l

* * *

_Somebody up there...if there is somebody...must __**really**__hate me...if they've left me with..._

"I wonder what would happen if I lodged this little rocks into my gun and aimed it," a slight hint of a pink tongue stuck out the corner of the man's mouth, "And just shot...Oompf!"

Sounds of cracking as small river pebbles rattled through the barrel of an aged shot gun and the man fell backwards onto the ground, "I'm alright!"

_...with this country back woods hick. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Who I did piss off in another life to end up with this living Hell?_

"Hey Nick!" the voice called out from the ground, "Lil' help up, man?"

_Then again...if the Infected don't kill us, I'll make sure I end it._

"Nick? Hey, you up there, man? Because the backside I'm talkin' to sure does like look yours, but then again, maybe those stupid Infected got smart and learned how to copy us," scratching his head from under his hat, "...Then again, that could be really bad for us."

_Oh God will someone just come find us already!? This is getting ridiculous!_

"Nick? Nicky? Nicky Boy? Hey! Big Shot!" one look shut the country boy up as a cross between 'I'll kill you within the next five seconds' and 'So help me, I'll make you regret calling me that' stared him down, "Heh, heh...Hi?"

"Get your ass up off the damn ground and SHUT THE HELL UP!"

XXX

Nick was one of those guys that didn't take well to the World being overrun by Zombie like creatures that had abilities. Abilities ranging from being able to maul your face off to melting it off with acid. Ones that the moment they got their claws onto you, they would ride you like the Ponies he would bet on back home. Those were the ones he couldn't stand the most because he worried about them getting a little too into their ability and...well, it was something he didn't want to think on. Now and again, they had encountered ones that he compared to bouncers. The kinds of bouncers that he had encountered back in the day, but these types of "bouncers". They were more like walking mountains that would about squash you as soon as see you.

Then there was the one type he couldn't stand.

The Witch.

Ellis was starting to become as annoying as her, except the excessive wailing and moaning in a corner. All Ellis was able to do was annoy him without having to wail and moan like a five year old. He did that on his own with his own brand of "shiny" personality. Since Day 1, Nick had been looking for a way to feed the hick off to the Infected, and then run like Hell into the nearest Safe Room and watch it all unfold. But it seemed, that was out of the question. At the moment, they were stuck with one another. Nick to sit on his side of the slab of concrete, torn up from a military attack that had taken out the bridge weeks ago. While Ellis sat on the other side, playing with a piece of pipe that, by any ones curious wondering, how it got there. That he had found and was content to play with it. Nick just wanted his thoughts, but that was far from happening, especially with Ellis in tow. They had both heard stories that they weren't the first team to try and take on these creatures. Another team had once before taken them on and had seem to had moved on with their lives. Wanting to forget the horrible nightmare it had all been.

Now. It was their turn.

XXX

Soft sighs were all that could be heard between them, alongside the miles off screams of Infected. If there was one thing they had come to realize in their months of trying to survive. When those screams got closer, like, five feet closer, even ten feet; it was time to get the Hell out of Dodge. Even that city based in Kansas was a war zone, and getting out of Dodge, well, it held a bigger meaning nowadays, almost as much as when the phrase was coined. Nick had found his way to the Group after the Infected had invaded New York, not the Big Apple it was anymore. More like a huge crater in the ground with overgrown counts of Infected. How in the Hell had he made his way to be stuck with a hick out of Georgia? It was beyond him, and right now, he wanted nothing more then for the man to stop sighing.

Was that all he could do?

At least he wasn't questioning the meaning of life.

"Hey Nick..."

_Spoke too soon..._

"Do you ever wonder what is with the skyline? Or what all those lights up in the sky are?"

_Oh God, I'm stuck with a Grammar Schooler whose trying to quote the Lion King...just send an Infected after me, God, just do it now._

Nick sighed as he ran a hand through his slicked hair. Slicked only by the remnants of Infected embedded in his hair, "I don't ever wonder what it is, Ellis and those lights are probably helicopters searching for survivors."

_As if there are any of us left..._

Ellis could be heard moving about his spot on the rock, "Heh..."

"Nick?"

"...What Ellis?"

"Where are we?"

_God...kill me now._

Nick sighed as placed his head in his hand; the other was posed on the gun in his hand, "I don't even know, Ellis..."

"Maybe I can find out where we are!" Ellis chirped up as waved his cement pole in his hand, nearly taking Nick out in the process.

"Ow! Son of a b-!"

Ellis swung it about once again as he started to look for what he called, the "North Star." Supposedly it was some old trick that his Grand Daddy had taught him when he was a little kid. And eventually his parents made sure it stuck in his head since he was known to get lost when he was little. And like much else, like it had been with encounters they had had with the Infected. It always ended up getting them into trouble.

"Hmm...I think its over there..."

Woosh when the pole as Nick dodged the pole.

"No, I think its over there!"

Swish as Nick came up a few milliseconds short of missing the pole as he held his head in his hands, "Hmm...Maybe its disappeared since the invasion of all these Infected..."

"Ellis. I don't think it could disappear just like that," Nick growled out, nursing the wound to his head; through a squinted eye he looked, "...Its right there, dumbass."

"Oh...yeah, I knew that..."

_I hate being left out here in the middle of nowhere with this idiot...Its no fun anymore..._

"I guess it was just right out there in the middle of nowhere looking to be found."

"...Kind of like I wish we weren't at this moment."

"Oh, we're not in the middle of nowhere, Nick, we're just out back behind the Safe House we've been staying in for the last week and a half."

_Whoever you are up there...you are one sick, twisted individual for not making me aware now that __**I'M NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!**_

"**THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!"** Nick's voice echoed through out the backside of the Safe House, as the sound of his gun cracking beside Ellis' head resonated with it.

When you're in a World, infected by Infected, stuck with someone that you would never be stuck with, its always best to face the fact, that, you're going nowhere fast. Nick didn't want to face that fact, and wasn't ready to face that fact as he chased Ellis about the yard. Threw obscenties, loud enough that any Infected even Special Infected within a ten mile radius of the House could hear them. The others were watching on with mock horror, and annoyance as they watched the hot headed New Yorker chase the Country Hick about the yard. With threats of chopping Ellis up and throwing him as fodder for the Infected to eat on. Then no one would be able to recognize Ellis.

Going nowhere fast...better learn to live with it.

Because, you're going to be here awhile.


End file.
